In a sermon on John 21:15-25, Drew Conley pointed out a nuance in the agape/fileo exchange between Jesus and Peter.(Conley 2024) Jesus asked Simon if he loved him with a sacrificial self giving love (agape). Peter responded, I love you with a familial (fileo) love.
Jesus asked twice using (agape) then on the third inquiry switched to fileo. Peter was grieved, he felt his betrayal, he could not claim agape in the light of his failure. Jesus leveled with Peter and accepted what Peter had to give.
How often does my love for Him seem so small that it ought to be despised? Yet, there is real comfort in knowing that he knows our frame and accepts what we have to give.
References
Conley, Drew. 2024. “Restored to Usefulness.” September 8. https://web.sermonaudio.com/sermons/98241559534247.